Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Rebecca

She was our last child, our to-be Christmas baby. Our last opportunity to add a second child to our family; to give our son a sibling. To, we hoped, have a daughter. We decided when we conceived her in the spring that this would be our last pregnancy. We had been through six miscarriages before her and couldn't continue to deal with the nightmare of pregnancy. She was with us too briefly, only 9 weeks. We thought she was okay, until she wasn't. She had a fatal chromosomal error, a flaw of nature that doomed her from the very start. I know she wanted to be here with us, and she just couldn't. I mourn her as deeply as I mourn her brothers and sisters before her, with the added layer of finality. She was our last child; the last one we will name. On this night that she was due, December 22, we chose a name for her. I love her and I miss her, and I know her spirit is with me. And, now, I have a name for her. Her name is Rebecca.

11 comments:

Melis.sa said...

I'm so, so sorry for your losses.

Mrs.Spit said...

Thinking of you. Sending love on a cold night.

Melissa said...

Thinking of you as you grieve the loss of all of your babies, especially Rebecca this December.

Mary said...

I'm so, so sorry. We almost share an EDD. Our little Peanut was due today. :( Hugs to you...

Joanna said...

This is a tough time of year - sending you hugs!!!

alliemich said...

Such a hard time of year to suffer in sadness when there is such happiness and joy of Christ around you. I am so sorry you lost your Christmas baby Rebecca and I have no doubt she is in heaven praying hard for her mommy to have strength to get through this time of year and have feelings of joy remembering her instead of sadness which is crazy hard, I know. ((hugs))

the misfit said...

I'm so sorry :(

Liz said...

What a beautiful name. I'm sure it was very hard to get to this point, and a very difficult time of year in general. Take care of yourself - thinking of you...

Patty said...

I like that name, "Rebecca." I haven't named my recent miscarried baby but my husband thinks it was a boy. So sorry for EVERYTHING you have been through in your journey through the yellow brick road. Hugs...

Joanna said...

I commented in December, but more recently I gave you a Stylish Blogger Award. Go to my page to check it out: http://www.constantly-in-pain.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

So sorry. I could barely stand to sit in church at Christmas because everything was about children and pregnancy, right down to BABY Jesus and pregnant Mary. Sigh. Here's hoping Easter will be easier. The holidays are so hard.

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